The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “By the One in Whose hands is my soul, the miscarried fetus will drag his mother to paradise by his [umbilical] cord if she was patient [with the miscarriage], hoping to be rewarded.” [Ahmad]
This is a sensitive topic but I hope it brings comfort and a better understanding on how to view miscarriages from an Islamic perspective inshaAllah.
Being brought up in a western society or country has a huge impact on our view of the world and the understanding that most people including Muslims have of conception and the creation of a child is not always inline with what our belief as a Muslim should be.
Many of us believe that from the moment of conception a new soul has been created so when we lose that which is growing in our womb it saddens us deeply for the loss of a child we never met... but this is not the case according to Quran.
As a Muslim we believe that there are 4 stages to the creation of a baby in the womb. The 1st stage is 40 days long, the 2nd stage is 40 days long, the 3rd stage is also 40 days long and the fourth stage is until the birth of the child as Allah wills. It is at the end of the 3rd stage, after 120 days (around 4months) that the soul is blown into the fetus by an Angel SubhanAllah (Glory be to God).
What follows is the correct understanding of conception and the creation of a soul according to Qur'an and Hadith:
“O mankind! If you are in doubt about the Resurrection, then verily! We have created you (i.e. Adam) from dust, then from a Nutfah (mixed drops of male and female sexual discharge), then from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood) then from a little lump of flesh, some formed and some unformed (miscarriage), that We may make (it) clear to you (i.e. to show you Our Power and Ability to do what We will). And We cause whom We will to remain in the wombs for an appointed term, then We bring you out as infants, then (give you growth) that you may reach your age of full strength. And among you there is he who dies (young), and among you there is he who is brought back to the miserable old age, so that he knows nothing after having known. And you see the earth barren, but when We send down water (rain) on it, it is stirred (to life), it swells and puts forth every lovely kind (of growth).” (Quran 22:5)
On the authority of Aboo 'Abd ir-Rahmaan 'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood (radiAllaahu anhu), who said: The Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) and he is the Truthful, the Believed, narrated to us:
"Verily the creation of each one of you is brought together in his mother's womb for forty days in the form of a nutfah (a drop), then he becomes an 'alaqah (clot of blood) for a like period, then a mudghah (morsel of flesh) for a like period, then there is sent to him the angel who blows his soul into him and who is commanded with four matters: to write down his (the childs) rizq (sustenance), his life span, his actions, and whether he will be happy or unhappy (i.e. whether or not he will enter Paradise)."
Based on our belief that the soul doesn't enter the body until after 120 days, if we were to miscarry before this point, the fetus was never meant to be anything more than what it was... This may be hard to accept if we have believed otherwise but it is ok to grieve the loss of what we hoped and longed for. We should try to find comfort in the fact that we have not actually lost anything. Only that which has a soul will go to Jannah or Jahunnam (paradise or hell). It is the Qadr of Allah (decree or preordainment of God), He is the Most Wise and we should be happy with His decree.
If the Angel has blown the soul into the baby and we were to then miscarry that child we have been given an even greater comfort and blessing in the following Hadiths. Not only will that child go to Jannah (Paradise) but they will take their parents too if they are patient.
The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Indeed the miscarried fetus will confront his Lord if He enters his parents into the Fire. So it will be said to him, “O fetus which confronts his Lord! Enter your parents into Paradise.” So he will drag them by his [umbilical] cord until he enters them into Paradise.” [Ibn Majah]
The following is from a long hadith about the Prophets trip with two angels.
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: “Last night, two people came to me and woke me up and said, ‘Let’s go!’ So I set out with them, … We went on, and came to a well-flourished green garden with all kinds of spring colours, where there was a man who was so tall that I could hardly see his head in the sky. Around the man was the largest number of children I had ever seen. I said to my 2 companions: ‘Subhaan Allaah! Who they?’ … They said: ‘As for the tall man who was in the garden, that was Ibraaheem (عليه السلام). As for the children who were around him, those are all the children who died on a state of fitrah (natural disposition).’” One of the Muslims asked: “O Messenger of Allah, what about the children of the disbelievers?” He said: “And the children of the disbelievers” (Bukhari)
Here are more hadith related to losing children and the promise of Jannah for both the parents and child.
One of the daughters of the Prophet (ra) informed him that her child was dying, so he consoled her by saying, “To Allah belongs whatever He takes and whatever He gives. Everything (in this world) has a limited fixed time with Him. So be patient and (sincerely) seek and hope for reward from Him.” (Bukhari)
Abu Hassan said to Abu Hurairah ( ), “Two children of mine have passed away. Will you not narrate to us a Hadith from the Messenger of Allah ( ) that will comfort us in our loss?” He said, “Yes, their children are the children of Jannah (Paradise) and they will meet their parents and take a hold of their hands as I am taking a hold of the hem of you garment, and the child will not let go until Allah admits them all into Jannah." (Muslim)
"Whoever buries three children, Allah will forbid the Fire for him." (Saheeh, Tabarani in al-Kabeer, Al-Albani authenticated it in Saheeh Al-Jaami' (6238).)
"There are no two Muslim parents whose three children die before reaching puberty except that Allah will enter them into Paradise due to His mercy to the children. It will be said to them, "Enter the Paradise", so they will say, "Not until our parents enter first". It will be said, "Enter the Paradise you and your parents." (Ahmad, an-Nasaa'i, and Al-Albani authenticated it in Saheeh al-Jaami' (5780).)
"'Whoever iHtasaba (remains content and patient after the death of) three of his offspring will enter Jannah.' A woman said, 'What about two?' He said, 'And two.'" (Saheeh, an-Nasaa'i, Ibn Hibban, authenticated by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Jaami (5969).)
"To no woman three children die and she remains patient and content, except that she will enter Jannah. Or two (children)." (Muslim)
Duas to say when asking for children:
21:89 the dua of Zakariyyah;
Wazakariyya ith nadarabbahu rabbi la tatharnee fardan waanta khayru alwaritheen
And (remember) Zakariya (Zachariah), when he cried to his Lord: "O My Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors."
37:100 the dua of Ibraheem;
Rabbi hablee mina assaliheen
"My Lord! Grant me (offspring) from the righteous."
3:38 the dua of Zakariyyah;
Hunalika daAAa zakariyyarabbahu qala "rabbi hab lee min ladunka thurriyyatantayyibatan innaka sameeAAu adduAAa"/-
At that time Zakariya (Zachariya) invoked his Lord, saying: "O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation."
25:74 a dua for Muslims to say;
Wallatheena yaqooloona rabbanahab lana min azwajina wathurriyyatinaqurrata aAAyunin wajAAalna lilmuttaqeena imama
And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun".